growing up wont bring us down

RED. RED. RED. finally 

please

I feel hopeless tonight

I feel tired and weak and worn to the bone

I can feel the insecure fifteen year old I once was creeping through the cracks of my eighteen year old reality. 

Im in a huge transition period of my life

and the weight of that change, among so many other things, is pulling me back down

I can actually feel myself loosing my grip on who I was becoming

I’m back tracking. 

And damn it, I shouldnt be alone tonight

Where the hell does this pain come from???!!!!!!!!!!!

Im so tired of waking up. 

almost like its too much work. 

I know it gets better, and life will one day be sweet and lovely

but what do i do on nights like tonight where life is an ugly, dark and scarry bitch?!

This is my cry for help, as the  tears stream down my face. I need an answer tonight. 

I need to be caught tonight.

I hate to admit my weakness, but tonight…

I just need a safe place to land. 

please catch me. 

reneeyohe:

First glimpse at the movie!

Wow…

I can’t express the wave of emotions I experienced watching this preview… nostalgia, humility, overwhelming gratitude, euphoria, a surge of love and compassion for the girl I was, which is a much different response from the disdain I once harbored. I felt a sense of peace, to be honest, for the fears that I (and I’m sure many) have had about a movie being made, “Would it suck?… Do my story, justice?… Entertain, enlighten, reach, or move others?…Be a good movie in general?” This felt good. I feel good. And strange. And naked. And excited. How strange, to have a movie made about someone… about myself, and to be alive to see it. How surreal. I don’t grasp it, I think I try to be objective.

It’s been an unbelievable process; from dreaming with David to writing, fighting, crying, laughing, watching my dear friend Kate pour her entire self into a script, and seeing it come to life, casting, crews… so many talented people with their own stories coming together to see this happen, whether they brought food or styled hair, snapped photos behind the scenes, labored over wardrobe, manned camera’s, scouted for locations, sat for hours to be extras, or gave themselves to these significant roles… everyone seemed to resonate with something in this film… as it has been said, this story is important because it is all of ours. It’s the human experience, perfectly imperfect.

You can stay up to date with the latest news, see pics and videos regarding the movie, by following on twitter, and liking the facebook page!

Beauty Fantasy ♥ on We Heart It. http://weheartit.com/entry/12968377

Beauty Fantasy ♥ on We Heart It. http://weheartit.com/entry/12968377

Entertaining the idea of falling back in…

I dont think
I can hold out much longer.
I said that I quit…
But maybe it was more of a pause
just to please them
let them breathe a sigh of relief.
I’ve never loved winter.
but now I miss the protection of her long sleeves.  
So how long will I keep this facade up?
And if i start again will I be able to keep it hidden? 
I dont know…
But I do know that I miss it, 

and that im not as strong as I’ve been pretending to be.  

Finally got my industrial! I’ve wanted it for so long :)

Finally got my industrial! I’ve wanted it for so long :)

ohitsthebiebs:

Tumblr, please spread this story. 
There’s a girl that I grew up with, and she was/is my best friend. Her name is Olivia Anderson, she’s 17 and a junior in high school. I’m convinced she is the worlds nicest girl. She gave up her time, money, and everything she earned for the benefit of others. Olivia stuck up for every single person she witnessed being bullied, and she stood up for what she believed in and didn’t let anyone bring her down. She was very family oriented, her family is her world. Three years ago, her parents were killed in a car accident on their way to pick her up from her dance competition. Ever since it was only her and her brother, Jake who’s 24. Today, May 24th 2011, she was diagnosed with leukemia. She’s already begun treatment but her chances of survival are slim. Please, spread the word and keep her in your prayers. She doesn’t deserve this, she deserve’s the world and beyond. Get well soon Olivia, I love you so much. ♥
REBLOG THIS.Dont just scroll past. This girl deserves this.

ohitsthebiebs:

Tumblr, please spread this story. 

There’s a girl that I grew up with, and she was/is my best friend. Her name is Olivia Anderson, she’s 17 and a junior in high school. I’m convinced she is the worlds nicest girl. She gave up her time, money, and everything she earned for the benefit of others. Olivia stuck up for every single person she witnessed being bullied, and she stood up for what she believed in and didn’t let anyone bring her down. She was very family oriented, her family is her world. Three years ago, her parents were killed in a car accident on their way to pick her up from her dance competition. Ever since it was only her and her brother, Jake who’s 24. Today, May 24th 2011, she was diagnosed with leukemia. She’s already begun treatment but her chances of survival are slim. Please, spread the word and keep her in your prayers. She doesn’t deserve this, she deserve’s the world and beyond. Get well soon Olivia, I love you so much. ♥

REBLOG THIS.Dont just scroll past. This girl deserves this.

These are the nights

you sink your hooks

deep into my heart 

And you pull me apart

with your bloody claws

and your wide open jaws

You rip from me

the life left inside

Then you cowards,

you run and you hide

Leaving me to soak up

the blood that I’ve cried 

My dog hides in the bathtub, when a thunderstorm comes along, and lately I find myself joining her,hiding from my own thunderstorms.  

My dog hides in the bathtub, 
when a thunderstorm comes along,
and lately I find myself joining her,
hiding from my own thunderstorms.